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Wishes and fears 

Actually life is easy to live… If we could only leave the past be the past, if we could only get loose of all the negative emotions and thoughts. If we could only love one another…

We lost sight of our goels and can’t get back to them. We got lost in unhappiness and it seems like nothing is gonna be alright. It seems like happiness is impossible to achieve.

But perhaps we are just afraid to be happy. Because we all loved and lost someone in the same time. Our heart has been pulled out and has been crushed into thousand pieces and we still feel the pain. It is deep and it is big.

Nevertheless we secretly know we can love more than one time. Only the fear of reliving the same pain again and again is holding us back.

If we truely wish for it the whole world could be ours…

Mind blowing

Those days which are full of emptiness block you from being free. Open your mind, let it observe the energy around you. Because only your mind can accomplish the integrity of development. Your mind is in charge of your beauty, which is related to seeming young & fresh. Don’t read to much into things. That is just exhausting and eats you up. Use your energy for running after your dreams, for running after what feels right and not what is right … You have to feel it with all your guts, you have to want and love it … 

Logical decisions may stand for a life time stability but it doesn’t allow you to gain absolute experience of all the emotions you could get from life. For better or worse it is worse to walk around with no brain function than to feel anything else. Life shouldn’t be safe, life should have his up and downs, only this way we can find true peace.

Bottom up

Don’t think it can’t get worst because it can. Right when you think you got it all under control life gives you another slap. It only gets better when you arrive to the deep end, when you get to the bottom of the bottle. Because then you know there are some things you can’t control. 

Accept that life is a challenge and you just a gamer. You are allowed to dream and make plans, sure! But don’t get tooo fixiated. Be open to changes, be open to the idea that everything is placebal. 

Don’t waste your time walking through the tunnel thinking about the next 4 or 5 pathes you are suppose to take so your plan works out. Just walk and even dance a little bit and decide wich path to take when the time comes and the options appear. 

Now it must go up!

Poison

You know what?! 

I am the worst! 

Because I am terrible in reading people! I really really really want to see the good in people, to believe in people and to trust in people. But it’s getter harder and harder and even a little bit impossible. This last year I learnt that you can’t be sure of anything. Everything can change like *boom*

So what now?

Let’s find a dark corner and start to cry. Cry baby cry. Cry till your eyes get red. 

HA! That is the easiest way and beside that what does it get us? Only a broken heart and a demaged mind.

I worked hard to become who I am and I am not giving up trying to stay that way. I successfully banished hate and anger out of my heart and mind many many years ago. Now I am gonna banish those people who try to put them back into my life. Yes, it is a little sad to let some in only to cross them out. But you can’t see the future so I am gonna open that door again and again till I found the apple which isn’t poisoned. 

1 vs. 2

A heart wonders around till it finds his other half. Two hearts are the same as one. But without the other it is broken, it is empty. With the other it grows to his maximum potential. What one can’t do on his own, two has the power to accomplish. Even if it is possible to stand and fight alone … It is as hard as hell also f***ing lonely. Not a single soul is meant to live alone … 

Find it in your heart to love one another.

Positive vibes 

More than ever I am cocksure:

Don’t let other’s mistakes change your pure intentions to believe in people. 

Hope doesn’t come along with failures and as hell not with breakdowns. But with those the game starts: Negativity messes around with your head and tells you that you don’t deserve it better. Don’t pay attention because YOU DO! No one should be treated like shit, no one should be lied to, no one should be betrayed. And if that happens it is not your shame to carry, it is not your conscience to be cleared. Don’t take their guilt away. Be brave and don’t loose your positivity. 

Aging

Some of you would say that age doesn’t matter. But it does and mostly til around the 30’s. In every age you perceive the things around you differently because your brain saves the past even without your knowledge. When you were born you (first of all) learn the basics about life; how to breath, how to eat, how to walk and than finally to speak. After accomplishing that you learn how to connect to people other than your family. You start to school surrounded with a lot of strangers who quickly became your friends. Everything seems so great because a child is pure with his actions and intentions. But when you get older you start to rebell and have this judgy glasses on your nose… you question everything and everyone. With time you learn that you get to be understand if you start to understand others. And so the first steps have been made in changing your perspective with graduating school. You become a young adult with a lot of dreams… You are shining and running but forgetting what’s important. Now it’s time for your biggest mistakes in life, which will define you and what you really want. You will fall once, you will fall twice … Don’t worry it only makes you stronger. At the end you realize that you shouldn’t trust all people and you get waved back to your family and true friends who already shown their loyalty. Because near the 30th you get bored of childish drama and wish for your younger lying „friends“

to get their shit together and finally to grow up!